From my heart

From the Autism Speaks site This guest post is by Mara Fineshriber a mother, official water bottle bringer, head cheerleader, chauffeur, chief bandage applier, financier, head of complaint department, and homework enforcer.   How my son with autism became a martial arts champion My son, Ethan, was diagnosed with autism at age three. I remember thinking he was more behind on his infant and toddler milestones than his older sister was, but I didn't think too much of it because we are often told that each child is different and the range of "normal" is pretty wide. He didn't begin walking until almost two. He could speak a lot of words at 12 months but they were never his own. He would simply mimic back what others said to him. Communication got much easier when he got to a place where he could answer yes or no, but it wasn't until we completed a lot of therapy before he could answer anything open ended. He is as literal as the day is long and sarcasm,...

I have been involved in Taekwondo for more than a year now as a father and husband. Two of my boys and my wife are attending the Traditional Taekwondo Academy in Pretoria, South Africa. I watched from the sidelines and saw the changes in them. Changes in their attitude, motor skills, patience and fitness (and much more). You see, we are a family on the autism spectrum, therefore noise, randomness and change is not well received. But they are growing and doing well, actually,  Hanlie  (my wife) is doing extremely well. She is putting in extra hours of practicing and at the SA Nationals 2014 she won her division and so far this year she has not lost a competition yet. I started taking a closer look at Taekwondo, its moves and principles. I also compared that with the 'requirements' of people on the Autism Spectrum and it is a great fit. Taekwondo allows for one-on-one training, it has repetitive movements or forms, it is taught by example (visual inp...

Every sport has its own story or stories. For some people the story is an easy one, for others the story is one of struggle. Not every student that start out with Martial Arts (whatever discipline) advances to Black Belt level. In fact, according to the Instructors, a lot are starting off, but very few finish, or carry on after they achieved Black Belt status. Hanlie started with Taekwondo in June 2013 and at first did it just to get fit and hopefully loose some weight. In October 2013 their Instructor enrolled them into a competition just to get some competition experience. Needless to say, although Hanlie did won some medals, she did not do well. The next year she decided to take some extra Taekwondo training sessions and at the end of 2014 Hanlie became the South African Ladies 40+ Colourbelt champion. (that was despite tearing a calf muscle 8 weeks before the South African Championships) Sounds like she is doing well and everything is her way.  Hanlie's performance and...

a bit of a jumbled post. I read the blog post  Dangerous Assumptions  this morning. This is exactly what is bothering me with society and the Aspie community. Because we do not talk as much, or do not talk at all we are deemed disabled or retarded. See  John Elder Robinson 's post. All of us do not communicate verbally, but not all of us are mentally challenged. Sadly, it is a fact that some of us do not have the mental capability to live on our own. But it is wrong to make assumptions, to place a person in a box and to label them. When we read  Autism Daddy  the non-Autistics and Aspies get an insight into the struggle of a non-verbal Autist. The fact that his son does not respond to instruction and learning can make us assume that he is of low intelligence, but are we right in our assumption? Can it be that there is a communication method on a different level? I truly do not know? But I do know that Autism daddy is trying his best to s...

‘When He’s Older and Doesn’t Have Autism Anymore…’ T he tagline came up in my Facebook feed and i could immediately feel my blood pressure ri s ing! This must be another ignorant family member or organization trying to sell BS to the public. Autism cannot be outgrown! But then I read the post! (you can read it above) " Keegan recently got his first yearbook, and he’s very proud of it. He takes it to school every day because he and his friends like to look through it together. I mentioned to him how much fun it will be to look through as he gets older. He told me, “Maybe I can show it to some of my relatives, like Grandma and Grandpa and my cousins.” And then he said, “ And when Easton is older and doesn’t have autism anymore, I can show it to him.” " But the fact is, Autism is forever, it is not something we grow out of. The way we handle it may change over time, or stay the same all the way through. Or we may realize who we are and drop the act to try ...

I sometimes feel like screaming, being frustrated with myself, frustrated with the world, frustrated with the constant sensory input. I am sometimes frustrated because I am on the Autism spectrum and Wehan is on the Spectrum. But frustration does not make me love my son less, in fact, I love him more because of it. But then Autism Speaks come around and say that it is an emergency, that Autism is a disaster, and must be cured. Sure, Autism makes is difficult for us, but I do not consider it a disaster, I do not consider anyone in my family less as a result of Autism. I do realize that there are families with severe Autistic children and they are struggling to cope, for whatever reason. But I am alive, I have gone through my whole live with Autism and only defined it a couple of years ago. I am me. And them sometimes a post like   This is Autism ... crosses my monitor, and I understand. Read it, it is good.

Well, it looks like someone started noticing the neuro diversity of people on the autism spectrum. And they are providing interesting, gainful employment as well. In the UK ( GCHQ ) for some it may mean government pensions and perks. (I surely would like to work there as a continuation of my previous career) However, being an analyst is not the only job in the market for those with Autism. Look at Specialisterne  from Denmark. They are dedicated to employ people with Autism. They are part of the Specialist People Foundation. Here is a quote from their website The Specialist People Foundation works to enable  one million jobs  for people with autism and similar challenges through social entrepreneurship, corporate sector engagement and a global change in mind-set. We work with stakeholders around the world to bring about our vision of a world where people are given equal opportunities in the labor market The company I work for have at least 4 people...

The company I work for has a policy of Stand-Up meetings that every employee has to do once a month. We can talk about anything, a product we are working on, something inspirational, but nothing controversial like politics or religion. The duration of the presentations must be between 5 min and 30 min. I decided to do Autism in the Workplace as I noticed one of our clients exhibiting typical stimming behavior during a dinner we were having. I was pretty scared before the time as I used myself and my son as examples during the presentation. (In a household of four, 3 of us are confirmed Asperger). Al lot of famous people are autistic (Asperger or High Functioning). Some of those that acknowledged it are: Susan Boyle, the guy who created Pokemon, Angelina Joly,  What Is Autism? Autism is a spectrum of neuro-developmental conditions, characterized by difficulties in the development of social relationships and communication skills, in the presence...

I saw the link  Thinking about moving to a nudist colony  on an autism blog and it got me thinking. And  in line with my thought process, thoughts, sub-thoughts, sub-sub-thoughts and related and unrelated thoughts were spawned. My youngest son will not allow himself to be seen without clothes, when my eldest son was young, we struggled to keep his clothes on his body. But since he started puberty he voluntarily wears clothes (well, pants at least).  For him there is nothing wrong about being without clothes, he does not like the feel of the material on his skin - especially certain types of materials (I suppose I am somewhat the same, - I just got shivers and goosebumps thinking about the feel of wool on my skin, and heaven forbid that it gets into my mouth and I bit on it - my compulsion is chewing (somewhat under control)).   And eventually I remembered something I wrote when I was in Mozambique. I pondered the question of being without clothes,...

I have some views on Autism Speaks that will probably bring me in conflict with the rest of the Asperger community. I am on the spectrum, my wife is on the spectrum and my son got a double-dose from both of us. I surely do not think that there is something wrong with me, or my wife or my son, however I know that there are things in ourselves that we want to change, like making friends, or being less uncomfortable in busy shopping centers.   And I do not deny the parents of Autistic children the hope that something will be discovered to make their child better, or even just allow them function better. We can talk and relate, but how do you care for a non-communicative, severely autistic child? How do you know what is wrong? How do you know what is bothering him? Just because of that I support Autism research, not that I think there is something wrong with us, but to help the parents that do not know which way to turn. I follow several Autism pages and the one I foun...