From my heart

It is never too old to start. I came across this  Video  the other day on a Facebook Group. I know it seem illogical but Martial Arts (Taekwondo) can be for every age. You do not have to take part in sparring or forms, but the complex movements of the Martial Arts stimulates the brain and rejuvenates the person. Have a look and enjoy. Video

Recently, (the past year) I started cooking more and more, not only the basic home food, but some complicated dishes as well. And I enjoy it, I find it relaxing. When I am busy preparing something, I do not have time to thing about anything else. Cooking sort of became a necessity because my wife got provincial colours in Taekwondo and is preparing to attend the World Championships. She would take the meat out of the fridge in the afternoon, or start the dish and quite often I would prepare what I like or finish off the dish, ready when they return from their training session in the evening. But my cooking did not start off by accident. I spent two years in Mozambique as an expat where I had to cook for myself, and there I learnt the usefulness of a slow-cooker. Then in June 2014 I experienced a episode of burn-out. Big Time! Burn-out occurs when you are under prolonged stress and is characterised by total exhaustion, (physical, emotional and mental). You tend to loose interest ...

Our minds do weird things when we are confronted the the possibility of impending death or suffering.  Technically I was not in that situation, but the doctor gently urged me to do an abdominal sonar. And there was some concern in his voice. Why? Because the hepatitis tests proved to be negative, I did not squirm with pain when he did a pressure test on my gall bladder, and we have a family history of pancreas cancer. So until I had the scan done my mind went on weird and long overgrown paths. I contemplated life, and death, and what lies in between. I made sure that I had the contact details of my life insurance agents at hand in order to contact them if necessary. Late one night, when I could not sleep, due to discomfort and worry, I thought about my epitaph.  What would it be? And the words came to me...  "He worked himself to death".  Thinking about that, it shocked me, but I know it is true! He worked himself to death. I allowed work to consu...

The "what else"  from my jaundice bothered me a lot, because even after I returned to my normal colour, I still felt nauseous and had pains around my liver and pancreas, all pointing to possible serious pancreas problems. So I went for an abdominal sonar.  Had a good chat with the radiologist whilst she was dons the sonar. and the outcome: No strange bumps of lesions on my pancreas, kidneys are fine, spleen is fine, liver is fine but a bit fatty. gallbladder and bile tubes swollen. Conclusion: gallstone temporarily blocked the bile tubes and that caused the pain and nausea.  The stone went through but it left me quite yellow and sick. Now the bile tube and some of the pancreatic tubes are inflamed and I have to wait it out. Fortunately I got some good meds so I can eat and sleep again.

Wow, I have not felt like this in 15 years! I became violently nauseous last Saturday. I though I was back on a ship in stormy weather. You know, the kind of weather that throws you out of your sleeping bunk. But I was not at sea in stormy weather, I was at home, solid ground, far away from the coast! And I was what felt like seasickness on steroids ... A trip to the doctor, after I awoke from my fever induced slumber, and turned yellow, prompted some tests, with the possibility of me being under quarantine for having an infectious disease (Hepatitis A).  However, Hepatitis A proved to be negative, no infectious disease. So what now? What else can cause me to turn yellow and mimic a stormy ocean? The options I have are: a) gall stones, and b) and inflamed / diseased pancreas. I hope it is a) then the gall bladder can be removed. If it is b) then the options are not so clear, the medical journals talk about draining the fluids, about partial / full r...

Today we went visit a family member that is in the terminal stage of cancer. She was always a great hostess and made sure that when you visit, you lack nothing, and she is trying to ensure that it still happens, even if she is bedridden and cannot feed herself. She make sure that you lack nothing, that you eat enough and that you have enough soda or coffee to drink and cookies to eat. But to see her like that, at 35kg, not able to feed herself, is heart breaking. But in her words, "I do not want anybody to say that they did not enjoy the visit, do not cry...". But for Wehan it was too much, he chatted with her a bit and then started crying and retreated to the car where he stayed for the rest of the day. Marnus on the other hand sat at the end of the bed at times and held her hand. He is like Hanlie, full of compassion and not afraid to show it. I did not like it, I saw my own mother pass on like that when I was 12 and I still do not like to see that. But she is rea...

During the time that Jesus spent on earth, He healed a lot of people, and he healed them mostly, because of their faith, and to glorify God. Matthew 8:5-17 When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help.  "Lord," he said, "my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering."  Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him."  The centurion replied, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed.  For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."  When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, "I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.  I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at...

I try to be honest and true to my feelings, therefore I write what I feel at the time. As such what I write may contradict each other over a period of time. But that is me, my feelings may change, my perceptions may change and my situation may change. At this stage I am searching, looking, listening and analyzing. For me it is a way of healing, a way of getting rid of the clutter in my mind as I had a burn-out episode two months ago. In a way it is like sorting through and cleaning up a crashed hard drive.

Don't you just hate it when you are sick? It is winter and I have been struggling on-and-off for a couple of months now with a lingering cold, but since Saturday I have not been feeling well, and definitely Monday I was sick. My chest is tight and hurts when I cough, I am sneezing a bit, my head feels funny, my ears are popping and I am hurting all over. Typical symptoms for this time of year. I first tried over-the-counter medicine but eventually relented yesterday afternoon and went to see a doctor. 5 minutes and a bundle of money later I walked out with a prescription for antibiotics, cortisone, painkillers and cough medicine. Is it going to work? Not sure, but it is going to alleviate the symptoms.  According to my son (14 years old and an avid player of Plague Inc - a game where you research and create virus to unleash  upon an unsuspecting world ) the virus creators aim is to infect as many people as possible before the cure takes an effect, and not ...

Lynn Muller, an old Defense Force friend posted a Poem by Dawid Lotter about the South African Border War in Namibia. It describes a military operation in Angola where a South African Infantry Ratel was shot out by a Tank. Only 2 or 3 of the troops in the Ratel survived. When they cleared the Ratel later, they found two hands clasped together, body-less, hands of friends. It reminded me of the camaraderie, friendship and closeness we formed in the "army" and our time on the "border" I read the poem, it is brilliantly written. And I experienced fear, apprehension, hopelessness, anger. I wanted to stop reading, shut out the images and feelings, I developed a head-ache. I wondered what is happening to me. Then I realized that this was the first thing I read about the "Border War" in about 17 years. I was in the South African Defense Force from 1981 till 1997 and I spent a lot of time on the "Border", and on "Operations"...