From my heart

Don't you just hate it when you are sick? It is winter and I have been struggling on-and-off for a couple of months now with a lingering cold, but since Saturday I have not been feeling well, and definitely Monday I was sick. My chest is tight and hurts when I cough, I am sneezing a bit, my head feels funny, my ears are popping and I am hurting all over. Typical symptoms for this time of year. I first tried over-the-counter medicine but eventually relented yesterday afternoon and went to see a doctor. 5 minutes and a bundle of money later I walked out with a prescription for antibiotics, cortisone, painkillers and cough medicine. Is it going to work? Not sure, but it is going to alleviate the symptoms.  According to my son (14 years old and an avid player of Plague Inc - a game where you research and create virus to unleash  upon an unsuspecting world ) the virus creators aim is to infect as many people as possible before the cure takes an effect, and not ...

Lynn Muller, an old Defense Force friend posted a Poem by Dawid Lotter about the South African Border War in Namibia. It describes a military operation in Angola where a South African Infantry Ratel was shot out by a Tank. Only 2 or 3 of the troops in the Ratel survived. When they cleared the Ratel later, they found two hands clasped together, body-less, hands of friends. It reminded me of the camaraderie, friendship and closeness we formed in the "army" and our time on the "border" I read the poem, it is brilliantly written. And I experienced fear, apprehension, hopelessness, anger. I wanted to stop reading, shut out the images and feelings, I developed a head-ache. I wondered what is happening to me. Then I realized that this was the first thing I read about the "Border War" in about 17 years. I was in the South African Defense Force from 1981 till 1997 and I spent a lot of time on the "Border", and on "Operations"...

Sometimes I sit and think, or lie in my bed at night and think. Marcel Roos  posted this picture on Facebook. Thinking about it, it is true. Christianity has become this comfort zone for a lot of people against going to hell. Like, I call myself a Christian, I sometimes read the Bible and go to church. I listen to the preacher and sermons, sometimes I understand it, but I cannot relate to it. We get into the Christianity box and we are safe.  But we do not learn to speak to God, to relate to Jesus, to really, really have a relationship with God. We have joined a social club called the Christianity Club, get together once a week and get entertained. What I learnt during my time in Mozambique is, "search first the Kingdom of God" the rest is not important, you must have a relationship with God, nobody else can do that for you. We need to get out of our safety zone (box) and trust God for something. But we do not trust God, we rather trust in things we can ...

I moved to a new Internet Supplier earlier this month and woe and behold, my line got seriously throttled today, about by 75%. Our 2MB line with average throughput of 1.4MB suddenly became a 300kB line (if I am lucky). Our family has not changed our internet habits, but we are suddenly exceeding the average normal usage on the package. Trying to find out if there are leakage on my line or if the kids are watching Youtube 24/7.

On my way to the office this morning I thought about how we put pastors on pedestals and then shoot them down when they do not live up to our expectations. I mean, they are human after all! But we do not like it when they get sick, or so frustrated with our issues that they themselves have a nervous breakdown. What if they need someone to talk to? Where do they turn to? How about your pastor is having an affair, or is caught smoking? Are you going to burn him at the stake? What if you see your pastor having a beer in the pub? Or if he tells you he cannot listen to your story at 02:00 in the morning? Does he not have a life too? I do understand that pastors are in service of people, that they committed themselves to God and their congregation, but they are human, they are not angels.They have faults, they are hurting, they want a minute for themselves and their family, the constant whining of some of the congregation drives them up the wall. I think subconsciously we pu...

This post is a summary and link to Adam Mosley's (lead pastor - Trinity Vineyard Church - Kenya) post. Too often we do not appreciate our pastor, evangelist, missionary enough. They are there, they have a job to do and they must be there when we call on them. After all they are God's representative, they are not allowed to have issues, to get tired, to be in need or just want some peace and quiet for themselves. I recently returned from working in Mozambique and I was always amazed at our pastor's energy (Praise Assembly, Maputo). He has his own business to fund himself and is full-time pastor of the congregation. I am sure some of these apply to him as well. Here are the main points of Adam's post: 1. THEY DON’T HAVE THE TIME OR ENERGY TO WRITE…BUT THEY DO IT FOR YOU.  2. FACEBOOK “LIKES” DON’T PAY THE BILLS. 3. THEY ASK FOR MONEY BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO CHOICE. 4. YOU’LL NEVER HEAR ABOUT THEIR WORST DAYS. 5. THEY NEED A VACATION…BUT WON’T TELL YOU...

10 Things Christians Should Stop Saying | Jefferson Bethke I completely agree with Jefferson. When we become Christians, we adopt a completely new vocabulary and way of talking. It is like we are better than others, but we forget that we are still humans, doing wrong, that were saved (wrongdoings taken away) by Jesus, when He died on the cross. 

I'm ready to go dancing, but what do I wear? The clothes the church gave me are totally square. I need to hit the floor with a little flare— Something that looks like I'm going somewhere. So dress me up in the clothes of my culture. Give me some style; put on the luster. And they'll think that the Gospel has got to be keen When they see me dressed up in my Calvin Klein jeans! John Fisher      Real Christians Don't Dance

Proud, Vain and Covetous (25/12/2013) ... we are! We step over the brokenhearted, we side-stepped the injured we turn away from the widows and orphans because they are poor, they are different, they do not fit into our society. Jesus ate with the sinners, he spoke to the tax collectors, He bent down and wrote in the sand:        "If you are without sin, you cast the first stone" So many times we pick up the biggest, pointiest, roughest stone to throw; but we cannot, we dare not! We have no right, but we do it anyways... because we have forgotten what Jesus did for us.

October 2013: Marnus attacked  He glanced back, jumped into the car and locked the door! I felt him squeezing my hand, holding it tightly. Glancing around, who is behind us, who is in front of us, not leaving my side. He has nightmares, does not sleep well. Has a sudden fascination with weapons and shooting games. What brought such a change to my son? Why did this change happen? How could an 8 year old be targeted? held at knife point, searched, ransacked, what for? For R20! To scar him for live! I know that the statistics say that one in 4 in SA was a victim of crime, but a child, in broad daylight, in front of the school? Outrageous! For a while I really really struggled with my emotions! I had a hard time to accept, but then God reminded me ".. revenge is Mine says the Lord...".

2014 Life 2014/01/03 So here we are at the beginning of 2014. Another rush year has passed. As I am writing this I am am sitting at Surf, overlooking Maputo Bay. The question that has been on top of my mind the last couple of weeks, if not months cannot be ignored any longer. What do I really believe, not what have I been taught, but what do I believe, deep down? And I started questioning things? What if this was all an elaborate hoax? What if there really are aliens controlling us? But, then again ... Aliens are an interesting and exiting theory to consider because it is shrouded in mystery and suspense, intrigue and conspiracy. Look at all the publicity that Area 51 is getting! But then again, the scientific community is still looking for signs of alien life. The laws of nature prohibits the existence and influence of aliens on the human race. Aliens will have to travel faster than light or break the laws of physics to get to us. So, if not aliens, then what? Did w...

Maputo Mozambique 2012 - 2014 When I went to Maputo in 2012 I was a typical white South African but the time there opened my eyes to the reality of life, making me realize that we are truly complaining with not bread under the arm, but cakes in both our hands. We do not know what it is to live in a country recovering from war, a country where a shack sits next to a palace, a country where everything can be bought at a price, and most things have to be imported. I got to understand the taxis with overloaded trailers crossing the border (I did not approve of some of the methods of obtaining the the stuff, but I understood). I got to understood the reason for the hundreds and hundreds of water containers on those trailers. I got to know people with nothing, trying to make something of their lives - not waiting for hand-outs! I got to know what it is to be alone (my family was not there all the time). I am going to post a lot of what I experienced on my blog, so do not try and ...

Maputo 25/12/2013 Windows of the soul! I saw their eyes when I rounded the corner. They stopped, and I watched them lest they step in front of the car. And in a moment I saw their eyes... And their eyes were truly the windows to their souls! Their longing laid wide open as a feast on a table.. I saw their envy, fear ... I saw their struggle, to eat, to live, to go to school Two friends, on the way somewhere, the beach maybe, with a lifetime in their eyes, in a moment!

Maputo 12/12/2013 I have suppressed my feelings for so long, I do not know what I feel. I am lonely here in Maputo, that is for sure, but that was a choice.I am starting to understand the part in the Bible where it says "do not forsake to meet with each other ...". I think this is twofold, first for meeting as 'Christians ' or children of God, for strengthening each other and secondly meeting as people, to have social interaction. This interaction is what makes us alive and being human. That is what I miss now. Being totally alone is hard. I miss friendly interaction, not professional / work interaction. 

Someone just posted on Facebook: Some people should stop shouting Jesus Jesus to other people. Go read your Bible. Its a sin to judge, its a sin to say bad things about other people, its a sin to get drunk, its a sin to lie, its a sin to fornicate out of wedlock, its a sin to lust after money and other things etc etc etc. Not guilty, well then you can act holy and live the part. Until then, go sing, Silence is golden and leave other people alone! I seriously have a problem with judgmental people. Who gave them the right and authority to judge others? God did certainly not authorize us to judge, however He said "Judgement is mine ...". However He commanded us to love and accept each other unconditionally. If you see someone on the street corner, who am I to judge? If someone does not believe like you, who am I to judge? If someone does not smell like you, who am I to judge? Another Facebook post God het almal gemaak. Almal veskil, almal uniek, almal sp...

Wow! I completely forgot about this blog! But I need to write and get things off my chest, so I may just revive this.  I spent the last 2 years in Mozambique and got back to South Africa at the beginning of April.  Things were just hectic and now I am finding my feet again, so hopefully I will have time to blog again.