From my heart

So, we were created in God's own image, but what are we doing about it?

I have some views on Autism Speaks that will probably bring me in conflict with the rest of the Asperger community. I am on the spectrum, my wife is on the spectrum and my son got a double-dose from both of us. I surely do not think that there is something wrong with me, or my wife or my son, however I know that there are things in ourselves that we want to change, like making friends, or being less uncomfortable in busy shopping centers.   And I do not deny the parents of Autistic children the hope that something will be discovered to make their child better, or even just allow them function better. We can talk and relate, but how do you care for a non-communicative, severely autistic child? How do you know what is wrong? How do you know what is bothering him? Just because of that I support Autism research, not that I think there is something wrong with us, but to help the parents that do not know which way to turn. I follow several Autism pages and the one I foun...

There was no wind blowing when I stood on the balcony this morning. Everything was quiet! The view towards the mountain was crisp and clear. I did not hear a thing. It was like the whole city and nature was pausing, waiting. The I remembered the bit I read earlier this week; He says, " Be still, and know that I am God ; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10 And in that moment I wished that I was on that mountain, just me and God, looking out over the city, spending time with Him. I am too busy, I rush from home to work and back, keeping myself busy, not really making time to be quiet. Thinking about it, the only time I can really get quiet and spend time with God, is when I am in nature. So what am I to do? So how can I be still with noise around me? Sometimes I just crave a little bit of quietness in a rushed day, and God says "Be still, and know that I am God".  It just struck me, He did not say "seek sile...

In South Africa and world-wide I believe there is a decline in active church membership. (I read an article about it and quite often there are newspaper headlines to the affect).  For some churches it is obvious why the members are leaving, others are less obvious. So I started looking for the reasons (what applies to me as well to others) People leave church when they can’t find community. Finding a new community to fit into can be a frustrating experience. Staying in a place where you do not feel part of the community is deadening. Even if the sermons are Spirit filled and Godly, a church without community will not keep people. It is like going to a show every Sunday, nodding to the people around you and leaving as soon as it is over. Community tends to draw people in, to get them involved, to make them feel wanted. People leave church because they need less drama in their lives. Believe it or not, but churches are full of drama, church members fight with each oth...

How do we handle loss? Because after 40 years I still do not know. Three people in our company lost their parents in the last 2 months. My father-in-law heard yesterday that his sister has terminal cancer. And all of them are hurting, those that lost their parents and those that have to say goodbye. I know all the stages of grief, but that does not help me. I was 12 when my mom died and 14 when my dad passed away, and I did not know what to do. There were no counselors and help. Only years later did I learn about the stages of grieving. Did not help me then and I still am not sure if it will help me now. But for what it is worth, here it is: Denial, numbness and shock . Yes, I was in shock, I mean I was still a child.  Bargaining . I did not know about bargaining, therefore no. Depression . Thinking back, I must have been depressed at the time. My school marks did not change, I am a natural loner, so there was nothing different there. Anger . Was I a...

During the time that Jesus spent on earth, He healed a lot of people, and he healed them mostly, because of their faith, and to glorify God. Matthew 8:5-17 When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help.  "Lord," he said, "my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering."  Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him."  The centurion replied, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed.  For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."  When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, "I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.  I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at...

I sit with a dilemma! I was in Mozambique when the Gauteng e-toll raucous started, so I did not give it any serious thought.But I am back in South Africa now. To get to the office I have to take the high-way (e-tolled) or I have to drive through town (I live on the other side of town). I drove through town for a couple of months, avoiding the toll-roads. Then recently I took the high-way. ... and my fuel consumption dropped dramatically. I made a couple of calculations and found that the cost of my fuel consumption through town exceeds the cost of peak hour e-tolls. So I started taking the high-way meaning that I will be billed for using it. ... and just this is my dilemma. Thousands of people in Gauteng are apposed to e-tolling and refuse to pay their e-toll bills. The reasons cited are: the Government implemented the e-toll system without proper consultation (which I believe is true) . the Government did not consider other alternatives (I am sure that they may have...

I always feel uncomfortable when watching televangelists.They wear too much make-up, they shout at the camera (as if we are all deaf) wave their fingers around, conjure up emotions at the drop of a hat, and milk gullible people for their money. I mean, switch over to a gospel channel and have a look! The studio back-ground or office is always over-the-top. Suits and clothing are always brand names, and there is always, always a call to buys the latest CD, DVD or book at a discounted price if you call the number on the screen now. And they sell all kind of trinkets and drivel like blessed oil, holy crosses or mustard seed in a bottle. But the one below is totally absurd, ridiculous to say the least Pat-Pobertson-unveils-gay-repelling-necklace And we let him do it. Where are the church leaders and mentors? Why are they keeping quiet, allowing some people making a mockery of Jesus. Non-believers are laughing at the absurdity of what the so-called Christian leaders ar...

Tattoo - biblical or not, that is the age-old debate, so I am going to add my bit to it. First of all, I do not have any tattoos, it will drive me crazy just knowing that I cannot wash it of my skin (suppose it is a bit of OCD). Secondly, I do not have a problem with an artistic tattoo. Thirdly, I think some tattoos are horrible,extremely distasteful and belong in a horror movie, not permanently inked into your skin. So, Biblical or not? Leviticus 19:28 (read in context) says: “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.” So what is the context? Cut your bodies for the dead and tattoo yourself for the dead. But let us assume that you are a christian, then you are not under the Law of Moses any more because Christ came to fulfill the Law. Therefore the law is not applicable. But then later we get some advice from Paul in 1 Cor 10:23 where he says "all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial". Wh...

I try to be honest and true to my feelings, therefore I write what I feel at the time. As such what I write may contradict each other over a period of time. But that is me, my feelings may change, my perceptions may change and my situation may change. At this stage I am searching, looking, listening and analyzing. For me it is a way of healing, a way of getting rid of the clutter in my mind as I had a burn-out episode two months ago. In a way it is like sorting through and cleaning up a crashed hard drive.

Yes, yes, yes! Why do pastors and priests and ministers of the faith build huge mansions and amass millions of dollars while their congregations sit in poverty? And at every TV appearance, sermon or whatever they use the opportunity to push their new book, or video series or just ask for donations .... The article below is related to India, but the very same thing is happening in Africa. The real question I have is, is this Can he minister to them When Pastors Live In Multimillion Dollar Mansions, It’s Not A Sign Of God’s Blessing– But Our Sinfulness : ... In the past, this gross association between wealth and Jesus was largely a thing for slimey televangelists, but sadly it isn’t anymore– this illness has permeated into much of American Christian culture, and it’s making all of us sick. With new mega churches cropping up every few days, the Christian idolatry of buildings, bodies, and bucks combined with secular idolatry that promotes the God of “me”,   w...

What a weekend! My wife called me on Friday morning - my son have an abscess in his ear, fortunately she could open it and let all the gunk came out. I picked up my other son's laptop at the repair-shop,  when we switched it on, it lasted only as long as the battery charge, - I took it to be repaired because of a power problem! Saturday was a public holiday so I could not return it. Then Friday evening the gas ran out and I had to switch over to the emergency gas bottle in order for us to have a hot bath. Saturday morning, Hanlie had to represent her Taekondoo club at another club. She took my car (which is about 11 years old),  as the 48kg gas bottle will not fit in my car but it does fit in hers. I listened to her drive away and just switched on the kettle when the phone rang. She is standing at the traffic light, the car engine died and does not want to start again. I took her the other car and Hendrik and myself pushed my car the 300m back to the house. I a...

(9/1/2014) Seek first the Kingdom of God... How am I struggling with that! So many preachers preach salvation, or faith, or prosperity, or healing, or provide you with a detailed 10 point plan on how to get there, how to attain salvation, how to name it and claim it! But very few of them can tell you, really tell you how to seek the Kingdom of God. I want to know how to seek the Kingdom of God. I have some ideas, but who says they are correct? I want a happy family, I want money, I want health and wealth, but is that correct, is it allowed or even permissible? A know that a lot of the super spiritual Christians will say that I am coveting, that I am sinning and by that they imply that I should grovel in poverty. Why should I be expected off to be satisfied with crumbs if I can eat bread at the table? But that again makes me proud and a glutton and part of the name it and claim it club. I cannot stand people that names what they want and then claim it of God w...

Been thinking this evening.. I really enjoy writing this blog, it it me, it is a cleansing process and allow me to write what I feel. Sometimes I have a bone to pick with society, sometimes myself. I try to stay true to my feelings and may not always be theologically correct. I needed a place to articulate my questions and feelings! I needed a place to be me. and this is it.

(5/1/2014) People, missionaries, reverends, pastors, priests and church goers want to change us. They want to cover us up, cover our spots and blemishes, in order for them to be comfortable. Missionaries used to convert "natives", dress them in western clothes, and made them un-learn their customs and traditions because it was un-Godly. So what if they only wore loin-cloths? So what if the women do not cover their breasts? So what if she cut her hair short and wear Jeans? What we wear is not the issue! How we look is not the issue! Who we associate with is not the issue! People want to make thins an issue. They want to make sure that you look safe and sanctified. They do not want to be uncomfortable, they do not want to sit next to some-one different. And what is this telling us? Jesus is exclusive, He only cares for us if we are safe, good looking and fitting in, if not, we are out. But Jesus did not say that. He did not do that. He talked to the people, ate wit...

The Devil We Refuse to See By Rod Dreher l Exorcism l Supernatural Instances l Finding God l Finding Faith - Beliefnet.com : "The Devil We Refuse to See History, reason, and common sense demonstrate the dangers of seeing demons everywhere. We moderns don’t, however, appreciate the danger of refusing to see demons anywhere." 'via Blog this' Yes, there is a spiritual world and a physical world and the spiritual world can have a direct influence on the physical world. Whether we believe it or not, we need to be aware of the fact that there are angels and demons and that either of them can influence us or direct us. We need to be careful though, that we do not attribute a "normal" event as demonic activity. Similarly, we must not be caught unawares. 

It has been a lifelong struggle of mine to make myself heard. When I am in a group I can just as well keep quiet as not many seem to hear me speaking. Am I speaking too soft (with my hearing issue it is difficult to judge the loudness of my voice). It is if I did not even speak at all. And I became a listener... an observer of people. And I see the hurt, the rejection, the false bravado, the games people play... Most of all, I see rejected people! Rejected by their parents because they do not perform well enough. Rejected because they do not conform to society's standards. Rejected because they are poor.... or different .... or dirty .... or painted .... they smell .... Rejected because they have tattoos, long hair, short hair, spiky hair ... rejected because we are not sociable enough ... All of us are being rejected for some reason or another, all of us fear rejection. The business executive strolls past the hobo, totally ignoring him, ...